she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
