Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
