Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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