She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
