Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
