Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize