OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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