Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
