what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize