I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Your penis caused this!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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