Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
