So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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