VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
