yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
