Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
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