Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
