We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
