I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
