apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just high enough for therapy.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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