does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
