So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He has the fingertips of a God
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
