So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
