I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
