I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
