ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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