it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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