I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize