Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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