So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
