I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
