I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
and she was petting her beer can
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
