I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
