My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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