you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
