I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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