whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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