I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
