i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
