your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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