hell yes lets make some ravioli
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
