Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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