WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
