Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
