Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
