so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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