I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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