Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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