I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
