My sheets look like a crime scene.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
