mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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