There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
