Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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