Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
