carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
someone owes me an orgasm
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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