I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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