if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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