Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
