And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
where am i from again
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
