It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
