after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
