I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
