They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
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