Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
