How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
